Chemistry vs. eHarmony

Best dating sites for serious singles

If you're serious about finding a long-term relationship, eHarmony.com (*est. $60 per month) is a more expensive dating service than most, but reviews say its lengthy interview process helps weed out more casual users. eHarmony uses an exhaustive 500-item personality questionnaire that helps match compatible people. If the questionnaire identifies you as "emotionally unhealthy," you won't be offered membership at all. This aspect is the source of allegations from individuals and other online dating sites that eHarmony rejects people for ill-defined reasons. eHarmony does not extend membership to gay individuals, again putting it in the crosshairs of civil rights advocates. While these issues are unresolved and unsettling to some, there's no denying that eHarmony pioneered the idea of a lengthy interview process, followed by computer-assisted matching. There's no browsing on the eHarmony website.

The initial eHarmony questionnaire can take an hour or more to complete, and those not looking for a serious relationship are discouraged from applying at all. When you've completed the questions, you get a personality profile and receive compatible matches based on the information you've provided. Many users have said they have gotten 30 to 100 matches. Although it's free to take the personality test and receive a list of matches, you must subscribe to the service to contact others.

eHarmony's online dating service takes a similar approach to communications between members: members are encouraged to use a four-step process to initiate contact, in which each person has the right to end the communication at any point. The structured format and controlled interaction is designed to help potential mates learn more about each other over time. Although it has its detractors, many people are happy with eHarmony's approach.

Chemistry.com (*est. $50 per month), a competing dating site and an offshoot of the giant Match.com service, is capitalizing on eHarmony's strict policies and legal troubles in recent advertisements. According to Chemistry.com, eHarmony has rejected over a million people for a wide variety of reasons that have nothing to do with sexual orientation. Chemistry.com tries to counter eHarmony with its slogan, "Come as you are."

Chemistry.com virtually copies the eHarmony process, with a detailed personality test and no searching allowed -- you wait for the computer to send you possible matches. Chemistry.com has a biological anthropologist and author, Dr. Helen Fisher, behind the scenes. She is the online dating site's "scientific advisor" and she created the lengthy personality test based on her decades of experience in studying the "science of human attraction." Like eHarmony, Chemistry.com starts with a comprehensive questionnaire designed to find out who you are and what you are looking for in a partner. Your first five matches are free, but you must subscribe to the service before you have full access to all the features of the site. Like eHarmony, Chemistry.com also guides users through a multi-step communication process.

Bonny Albo of About.com writes that Chemistry.com is "an unusual and highly entertaining dating site for those interested in compatibility matching." One male user at Online Dating Magazine explains that the matches he got did not meet his specified criteria or were inactive profiles from Match.com. But if personality-test matching appeals to you, Chemistry.com costs less than eHarmony, and (at least right now) isn't under the kind of discrimination scrutiny currently tailing eHarmony.

Perfectmatch.com is a well-known dating site, partly because their public relations department has done a good job of getting it featured in movies like "Must Love Dogs," "Failure to Launch" and "Superman Returns." It also received a plug on the Dr. Phil Show. PerfectMatch claims not to be an online dating service. It considers itself a matching service for people interested in long-term relationships and marriage. As with eHarmony, you can register for free and take the Duet Compatibility Test without payment.

Unlike eHarmony and Chemistry.com, PerfectMatch.com does let you browse profiles of other users, but not until you've taken the compatibility test. There are four other sections in the sign-up process besides the compatibility test: "Deal Breakers" allows you to state exactly what you are looking for in a mate. "About Me" discusses your physical appearance. "Background Value" discusses your likes and dislikes, and the "Personal Statement" allows you to describe yourself in your own words. Profile questions are based on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a popular personality test used in psychology.

With PerfectMatch.com, once you have signed up and see someone you are interested in, you can make initial contact with an "ice-breaker" question. To correspond with people via e-mail, online chat or instant messaging, you need to become a paid member. PerfectMatch.com is one of the most expensive relationship services on the Internet, probably intended to discourage casual use. Reviews indicate it is a good choice for those looking for a long-term relationship who may be put off by the more rigid communication process of eHarmony. But many users on eDateReview.com complain that they didn't get any responses to their ice-breaker question and concluded that many of the members on PerfectMatch.com aren't active. A few users were matched with people who lived in a different state or on another continent.