Online Dating Review

Online dating: Comparing the top sites

Online dating has an appeal that has spread internationally and given rise to many specialty websites that cater to certain types of relationships, ethnicities, religions, age groups and geographic areas. The ability to weed out people who aren't compatible and to get to know someone from a safe distance before a face-to-face encounter has spurred millions of people to turn to online dating. Although many people have met through dating websites and later married, others report frustration and disappointment from the experience. It seems finding that perfect match online requires the same social skills, skepticism, honesty and perseverance as traditional dating. 

Although some dating websites are free, the majority charge a fee for a subscription period of one month to a year. Most fee-based websites either allow members to search for suitable matches or follow a matchmaking philosophy. Matchmaking websites attempt to take a scientific approach to finding people who are compatible and require the user to answer numerous questions to set up a profile. This takes more time initially, but eliminates the ongoing, time-consuming task of searching and browsing profiles because the matching is done for you. Generally, matchmaking websites are considered the better route for singles looking for a long-term relationship, while sites that let you search to your heart's content are the better choice for those who aren't quite as serious.

Hitwise (a site that measures Internet traffic and trends) tracks total site visits, and the organization's rankings for the Internet dating industry from October 2009 place PlentyOfFish.com, a free dating site, at the top of U.S. dating sites, followed in order by Match.com, SinglesNet.com, Yahoo! Personals, DateHookup.com, eHarmony.com, Adam4Adam.com, True.com, SeniorPeopleMeet.com and BlackPeopleMeet.com. Having the most visits, however, doesn't necessarily translate into dating success. We found no shortage of negative opinions about dating sites from users at Viewpoints.com, eDateReviews.com and other review sites.

We didn't find many expert reviews on dating sites, but a few established publications cover the topic. In an article written in February 2010, ConsumerReports.org recommends four dating sites that don't sell your data to third parties and provides full corporate contact information, including a street address and phone number, in addition to an email address -- information that some sites make hard to find. We also found useful information on dating sites at TheFrisky.com and About.com.

A large number of websites have sprung up that are devoted to dating site information and reviews. Many of these websites were launched by an individual who had success with online dating, but some don't appear to have actual experience using more than one or two dating websites. The most useful reviews don't just summarize features, but provide rankings and allow users to post reviews.

We also consulted a few industry and general sources of information to learn about emerging trends in online dating. The 2010 Internet Dating Conference invited industry professionals to vote for their favorite dating sites in 11 categories. OnlinePersonalsWatch.com is another source of industry news, including popularity statistics and new dating websites. BusinessWeek magazine published an interesting article last year about the rising popularity of free dating websites.

The bad and the ugly of dating sites

With the most popular dating sites advertising millions of members, many people approach online dating with high expectations. In reality, it's time-consuming and sometimes expensive to pursue this avenue. Although we found no shortage of complaints from former users of dating sites, most of the issues apply to the industry as a whole, rather than individual sites. Disenchanted users say dishonesty (ranging from using false or outdated photos to lying about marital status) is a rampant problem. Some users say they encountered scammers who likely lived in another country. Many say the advertised number of members is misleading on fee-based sites that only allow paid subscribers to reply to email. Since you have no way to differentiate paying and non-paying members, you can end up feeling rejected when non-paying members don't reply to emails.

Some dissatisfied users say have they received enticing emails from other members prior to subscribing, then paid the subscription fee so they could reply and never received a second email. This looks suspiciously like the website is deliberately trying to lure registered members into a subscription. There are similar reports of receiving a rash of emails or "flirts" shortly after cancelling a subscription, which might be construed as a ruse to lure you back.

Some users of fee-based dating sites are more than dissatisfied with the lack of successful dates. Both eHarmony.com and True.com have had lawsuits filed against them. Last year, eHarmony launched a new website named CompatiblePartners.net as part of the settlement of 2005 lawsuit that claimed the site discriminated against same-sex users. Subscribers pay only one fee, but can use both websites. The True.com case involves a complaint about billing and cancelation policies, but they aren't alone in this matter.

Negative feedback from former dating site users indicates that deceptive billing and cancelation policies are an industry-wide problem. Experts recommend thoroughly reading a dating website's privacy policy to find out what personal information is shared and how to opt out to avoid getting unwanted emails from service providers. Another common practice is the automatic renewal of subscriptions, so if users don't take the necessary steps to cancel, they will be unexpectedly charged for another full subscription.